Locked out

I was at my sister Boopie's house last week to help her move a weight set downstairs and I guess she put a fence up outside her side door. I actually complimented her on it a little after I got there. My mom, my brother-in-law and Boopie were taking apart the weight set and I didn't have anything to move at the moment so I figured I'd let the dogs out and have a cigarette. So I went into the parlor, grabbed a cigarette, and lit it. Then I realized "Duh! They don't smoke in the house!" I had to run through 2 hallways to get to the door to let the dogs out. So I run out there, and I'm all flustered. I shut the door behind me and I hear a click. Shit! That's the door that automatically locks. I looked around, and there's no gate in the fence. I figured "Oh well, I'll just knock when I'm done with my cigarette." So I finish my cigarette, get up and start knocking on the door. Well, boopie has a huge house and everybody was upstairs...on the other end of the house. So I knocked. And I knocked. And I knocked. I was stuck outside for like a half hour. With nothing to do and no cigarettes. Eventually, a fedex truck pulled up in front of the house. I knew somebody would be coming down to get the package (since THAT door is right next to the staircase they were by) so I started knocking again. Luckily, I knocked at the right time and my brother-in-law saved me.

I thought this was hilarious. It is SO Michael and Dwight!

p.s. The video clips are from the TV show "The Office".

Sign

On our way to Mallards games, there is one of those buildings that has one of those signs outside where they put little quotes. This place almost always has a funny/cute quote. Yesterday it said: If we don't vote, will they all go away?

The Mallards WON!!!!

The Mallards had their first home win tonight against the Port Huron Flags. The first star of the game was Lupy for his 2 goals.

Sergei Durdin is back!! He got an assist in his first home game back. Welcome back! It's great to see you playing for the Mallards again.

Ok, so remember how I always say "You suck" to the players on the opposing team? Well, I didn't get spit on tonight, but I was cracking up. Craig Mahon was the guy who saw me tonight. His jaw dropped and he was looking at me like "Oh my gosh! I can't believe it!" He kept looking at me after that, so I did it again. This time he asks "Me?" So I said "Yeah." He just hung his head and looked so sad and dejected as he skated away.

Another thing that had me cracking up is when on of the Flags players (I can't remember his name) was right in front of his, he goes up and checks a guy...then he looks up, sees that he checked the ref, and he yells "F*CK!"

Duct tape doesn't fix everything?

I was just watching the news and I saw a story about duct tape. There was a study done on whether or not duct tape helps heal warts, and it didn't! It helped in only 16% of the cases and it caused itching in most cases.

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!

No seriously, the roof was on fire at the Mallards hockey game. They had the pyrotechnics again tonight, and when they set off the fireworks from up in the catwalks, a spark must have caught on something and started a fire.


Oh yeah, and I got spit on tonight. Whenever the players come out for the second period, the away team is skating around on my end. So, of course, I sit there and tell them "You suck". Now, I could be saying a lot worse, (especially to Bruce Watson) but all I say is "You suck". Watson usually talks shit back to me, and I expect it. Tonight, when he was skating around, Chaz Johnson was skating right behind him. Now Chaz Johnson talked a lot of crap about the Mallards to the news stations in Rockford last season, but I usually don't waste my time on him. But tonight, he was with Watson, so when I was telling Watson he sucks, I was kind of saying it to Johnson too. So they skate past me one time, see me talking crap, and they just kept going. They came around again and Watson started talking crap to me (like usual) and I was going to try to figure out what he said when Chaz Johnson spit on me. Ok, so it wasn't ON me, it was just on my glass. But it was RIGHT where my face was.


Now anybody who knows me knows how crazy I am about the glass in front of me being clean. I cannot stand fingerprints on my glass. Everybody tells me they swear I have OCD. When I bang on the glass, I make sure my jersey is between my hand and the glass. So all night, I had to stand there with a huge glob of spit right in front of me, dripping down the glass and distracting me from the game because I could see it out of the corner of my eye.

Mallards Opening Night

So, I just got home from the first home game of the season for the Quad City Mallards hockey team. The score was close all night, but the Mallards lost 3-2 in a shootout. Needless to say, my throat is killing me!

The shootout was bullshit though. One of our players took a shot, and the Fort Wayne Komet's goalie knocked their goal out of position so that it wouldn't be a goal! Now, don't get me wrong, I have tons of respect for Kevin St. Pierre, but that was just bullshit. Then, the next shot (by the other team) was stopped by our goalie, Jason Tapp, but he let go of it too soon, and it trickled in to the goal.

Hopefully the guys will win tomorrow's game. I'll be right there cheering for ya!